Archive for category: Music

this calls for a celebration

This is going to be a long post since I didn’t dare to blog during home stretch Q__Q for some reason blog posts take forever to write, I suspect a correlation between that and my poor communication skills + tendency to talk forever once I start. In any case, as of Thursday or Friday book 3 of CP is completely finished! The proof was made and approved yesterday so it is off to printing right now :D There’s still a healthy amount of extra time to account for any delays so I think I will be able to make it to have it at everyone’s doorsteps by xmas. I can’t believe I did it HAHA because the schedule I calculated out in advance was pretty ridiculous at about 10 pages of inking ALONE per week, and still the estimated completion date was Oct 1 for inks only. Somehow I managed to get hella ahead in the last 2 weeks of inking and finished inking, toning, and preflighting by my self imposed deadline. I’m so lucky to have the help of linguistically competent friends like sepia, kris, and juby, to help me proofread ahead of time during the rush, though at this point I’m still worried there would be problems none of us caught BUT WHATEVER it’s too late now.

I also managed to force myself to go back and fix some of the things I wasn’t happy with rather than winging them, like faces, poses and paneling. They were minor and I was really tempted to ignore them since I needed to be doing far more important things with the time I had, such as preflighting the book. In the end because they were minor, they didn’t take much time, and I really hope this set me up for a good habit of making sure everything is how I want them to the best of my ability, because had I not done it, the little problems would have bothered me for the rest of the story since it would be even less likely that I’d go back and change these things in the future.

In the end, I am both very happy and very frustrated with this book. the making of this book was another huge step forward for me, even if it was almost unintended. Quality aside–since I can’t trust myself with this at all anymore, having stared at these pages every waking hour of the day for the past 3 months–being able to crank out this book this fast when necessary opens many options for me with the extra free time. I was always concerned that if I had to keep up the way I live right now, having to spend an entire day to finish only one page, I would certainly get exhausted or fall sick easily when I’m older and not be able to keep up anymore, but I’m relieved that this is not the case. I am pleased with how the art came out as well, there weren’t many places where I wish I could’ve had the time to redraw, and a lot of those places where I felt that way, I actually did spend the time to redraw them. But I know how these things are, when you look at it for so long without being able to look away, so I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me that I lost something in the art in exchange for finishing everything in time.

The frustration came mostly from the story… because whether or not the story is actually good and/or interesting to other people (if I cared about making a work that can live up to some external standard, I would’ve enlisted the help of an editor instead of going at it blindly on my own),  the most important thing about CP is it is a very endearing story/world to me. I only want to get better at the art to do the story justice in my mind and tell it like I want to, and to give it enough charm to get others to read it. The page count limit really force me to do what I don’t want to do, and what’s more I had very little time to change the story in a way I’m happy with. I don’t know how well I would’ve kept up this feverish production pace if there weren’t an actual emergency, but half of me wished I could have tried this production speed at another time when I had room for failure, then at least I could pause everything and spend as much time as I need to set things straight, like revising the plot. This is an especially infuriating thought because the whole point of self publishing is so that I can do all of that whenever I feel like, but I let my moment ambition strap myself down. I guess I can’t always have everything the way I want them, as much as I try to be in control.

In the end, book 3 is over and I gained lots of experience that would help me prepare for book 4.

In the past week of grind I’ve accumulated these goods!

toning (:

I tried to go ahead to see if anything changes during rough colouring of this version, and although I do like how it came out, many of my friends whose opinion I trust agreed that the first version is more effective as a cover piece in relation to my other covers, and covers of other people’s publications. I might use this for something else if I end up wanting to finish it, otherwise, good game version 2

The version 1 that I ended up finishing. Made the background darker. The finished cover is posted on the manga site and will be posted on other sites as well when the book is released ^^

everythang glowing c:

First scrap after finishing print stuff! I didn’t want to resort to a starry night but I was like whatever I can’t be assed to care too much for the first relaxation piece I’ve drawn in too long. I’m happy I could make the stars look nice this time around. SHITS HARD even though they’re just dots… I wanted to write a short cute dialogue of feeling immersed in the world, or the act of immersing oneself in the world. After so many years of looking out from your eyes, the body can give such a strong feeling of separation, but maybe in a reflection, you can see more clearly how close you are to everything around you.

Why wont you fight back?
And this picture… I saw typhoon rain on Mayday, and I remember I always loved the look of heavy rain waving in gusting winds like enormous curtains. I just had a little fun with the rain and left the rest to UST yayyy ^u^

Lastly Prokofiev’s 2nd piano concerto (: I was feeling really shitty that week, thank god I came across this piece because for some reason that cadenza made everything better. It felt good and satisfying to listen to, I can feel like I was playing it! It sucks that it will/has lost its effect though so I’m trying to not to overlisten this time HAHA

I think I’ll go ahead and finish an illustration before moving onto tidying preorder things and working on things I agreed to work on for other people.


Found this song thru Naguri

Starlight keeper ~ vocaloid Oliver! I didn’t know there was an English vocaloid, but it doesn’t matter I just pretend he’s talking gibberish anyway, songs are always better this way LOL

get stuff done

Not sure if I posted this before, but a preview of some card game commission I did a while ago -u- I wish I could post the pieces because I was surprisingly satisfied with them considering I hate doing commissions. I rarely have any success doing generic looking pieces but I think I really like the results this time. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s a japanese company and therefore they were more rational or something, but they pretty much asked me to draw what I do best aka maleloce and I was just wondering why can’t all commissions be nice like this? you’d think it’s logical that you find an artist and ask them for their specialty based on what you see in their gallery so you get QUALITY PRODUCT, without having to pay for excessive amount of pain and suffering on the artist’s part. Learning and trying out new things should be done by the artist on their free time, right? Not when you’re paying for it and depend on the end result to be amazing, BUT I DIGRESS……

So back in 4th year in piano literature class, we had 4 playlists of the 4 main periods of music, and I’ve been listening to the first list from early baroque to the middle of the classical period I don’t even remember what the cut off was at. I discovered that rhythmic Baroque music is really good for getting stuff done? It has a little drive to it, while the voices and motifs keeps me thinking without baffling my mind like their super expansive late romantic counterparts. I’d really like to relearn some fugues especially these days cus they’re so satisfying to play, but they’re a pain in the ass to learn compared to just technical splendor HAHA. The list of things I’d like to do after I’m done with volume 3 just keeps getting longer and longer Q___Q

Anyway here is part of a toccata by bach that I’ve been listening to for a while to work! the paintings are fucking bizarre I must say

I just finished toning the 50 pages I inked, so only 50 pages more to go! Then a cover and possibly a bonus story, depending on how my page count is looking because I’d cry if volume 3 turns out to be like 1mm too thick for the lettermail height limit LOL;;;;;;;;;;


xposting from tumblr! usually I leave these kind of rants for this blog but I felt like posting on tumblr that day while really needing to spam ):

So I was working on new pages and listening to homework from my last year in university for music, and even though I’ve heard those songs a billion times across the span of many many years, I don’t know why it was only that day that this song hit me so hard. This happens all the time but very rarely do I feel it visually, and even rarer do I actually stop what I’m doing and grasp the inspiration, since my self discipline is a little too great for this kind of spontaneous work. But I did this time and spent two hours or so coming up with a sketch. It’s most likely the fact that this is a dance that enabled to actually see what I’m hearing, I love dances……

The culprit is the valse from Rachmaninoff’s suite #2 for 2 pianos. I’m a huge sucker for the kinds of magical modulations that happened in the transition to the middle section starting from around 1:50, it’s just soooo beautiful and blissful and romantic and makes my emotions swelllll and completely obliterate everything else that I was thinking about aughhh ;;; the picture itself is cheesy and generic just like the piece, but I’m just overflowing with happiness and needed to get it out of my system before I can return to drawing meron kicking ass.

The middle section to me right now is very reminiscent of a seductive love song, maybe by a bass or baritone or cello, so very regal and elegant but, at the same time, filled with emotion that could emerge any moment. It was the part that originally hit me and it was the part I wanted to draw, that’s why I started with the fiery sunset and wanted to go for a regal, controlled waltz. But the section itself grew anyway into what just feels like complete joy and happiness ;; I couldn’t help but feel like the dance deserves to be carefree and open. I did this very quickly as I was in the middle of working on other stuff and I felt really guilty about slacking off, but if I still have the sentiments for it later, I would really love to improve the piece for the mood to be even more jubilant. I want it to be infectiously happy, like a royal leaving all his obligations behind and really be able to express his joy. I had thought about using other characters for the drawing, because I need to do that whenever possible since I only ever draw these two, but the fact I always draw them in such serious/solemn/tense atmospheres only help setup this picture better ): I also kind of want to use that kind of intense romance that I had started with in another picture if possible.

I think I’ve drawn enough of them that could safely prove that I’m just obsessed with this OTP of mine with no insincere intent, but I used to always get frustrated about the fact that I need to worry about consequences for drawing these kinds of pictures for them. I get–I’d like to say–interrogated a lot about WHY I draw them together, questions which aren’t always hostile but will always taken by me as so, because they make me feel like I did something wrong, like I’m tricking people into reading my story about something that will never happen, or suggesting that I’m just lying for the sake of saving spoilers. Sometimes I read some of my replies to these questions at a later date, and I’d just feel terrible about how confrontational I sounded because I feel evasive if I just said “because I like it”, and I see so far down the conversation and skip right to my last retort.

Maybe I should’ve said that all along because that’s all there is to it; I love them together, in these non canon times that allow for indulgence. Honestly I have asked my friends about whether I should actually make this canon, because a lot of the later part of the story is not set in stone, and for my own feeling of gratification I want to make them a couple. But really I think a story where they’re together would be pretty fucking boring because that’s a tremendous loss of conflict. In the end I realize that I’m just handling the attention negatively for myself, because I take so much of it as a personal responsibility as the author, and feel as though I’m manipulating my crowd to ask me for certain things like a true attention whore. I could probably use a lot of my apathy for others things in this area because this struggle involves no one but myself, and does nothing but hinder what I’m able to create with my intense motivation. I should really just be glad that my otp belong to me, feel privileged that ultimately I can do whatever I wish with them, and be grateful that there are others who appreciate the work I produce.

end with the hurrying of a storm, all in the span of 3 hours.




4 more days

Until my art book will be available for preorder!

´Д` Then I can finally post new art and move on with my life LOL… and then 2 or 3 more weeks and then I can finally DRAW NEW ART why did I bring this on myself LMAO. I don’t mind drawing a ton of pages per week but it really helps improve my mental state to know that I can slack and draw other stuff anytime I feel the need to and I’m just being responsible with my choices, rather than telling myself I’m doing this because if I don’t I won’t finish stuff in time ughh

I realized a while ago when chatting with a friend that I am all business when it comes to reaching milestones (AS I AM WITH EVERYTHING ELSE ACTUALLY…) so I decided to celebrate my art book a little and go out for some ice cream on preorder night HAHA… I can’t believe I wanted to go for like the past 1-2 years and I NEVER WENT, even though it’s like 10 minutes from my place what is wrong with me ): but fear not ice cream crepes, I will come claim you this weekend.

I’m pretty much done with my late romantic period so I’ve been looking for different music to listen to, and looking through billions of songs you’ve heard billions of times is HARD HAHA. But I’m back to baroque stuff now–or in this case late romantic renditions of baroque stuff LOL. I fucking love the fact that they’re so focused on forms (not sure if this one applies tho I don’t deserve to pass music history lmao) I don’t know why this always gets me off so much more than emotional downpours of romantic stuff and totally makes me wanna cry. same for art, too! I just may have some serious obsessions over control and constrain

Anyway have some busoni! This is only the second half but this is what I’ve been listening to haha

Ending with a wall of self reflection which might inflict brain damage so I’ll put that behind the cut (: