Archive for category: Recordings

last week of 2011

This Friday will see 3 more permanent (?) residents in my home: my aunt and her two children who are a few years younger than me. The aunt will for sure be home 24/7 until she finds a job, which is very unlikely since she doesn’t speak english, and I will have to look for schools for my two cousins and most likely have to help them with any school work they don’t understand, drive them to places, and just in general have my doors open to my family. I’m beginning to stress out now because I need the kind of concentration and freedom from external hindrances I have right now to work; sometimes even just the interaction of my parents and grand parents and the tv would throw me off. It’s almost like I have those artist retreat in the mountains right here in my room lolol, JUST NOT IN A HEALTHY WAY. It will be a great motivation for me to save up to maybe start paying for a place of my own though! I’ll manage but the transition is going to suck :T /spoiled only child

I’ll be posting a bigger version of this on my sites on new year’s (: but you guys can see it first as a reward for looking at my blog! I am very bad at drawing stuff for special occasions, and since I missed christmas I forced myself to at least draw something for new year’s. I wish all of you a safe and peaceful 2012! (or I guess a dangerous and exciting 2012 if you’re an adrenaline junkie)

Writing about this year feel kinda like counting down my life, scratching another year off til the deadline and I’ve got all these things that I am now bent on accomplishing. I kinda like this because unlike having nothing to do, I feel motivated and unlike having a boss, if I miss a deadline I won’t dread to be scolded and wait for my sentencing. I’m so cut off from society but at this very moment it feels like it’s not worth it to fit myself into social norms just because it will make me miserable and slow down my work greatly.

I looked back at last year’s resolution list to see what I did and didn’t do LOL. I never got around to the studies like anatomy and colour and just plunged headfirst into practical work. I think that’s pretty terrible for my growth but yeah, I never really find myself to be the scholastic type. I feel more like the apocalypse-is-tomorrow-so-I-better-finish-this-book-so-it-can-be-incinerated-by-the-sun-along-with-myself type. I also just outright threw any semblance of a balanced lifestyle out the window in exchange for productivity, and it showed I think… I remember thinking that all I churned out this year was manga pages with relatively few drawings, but while upgrading my gallery script, I noticed I painted more than last year, and most of the pictures had taken much much longer to complete than drawings from last year. I played piano more than last year… though considering I played in like almost half year gaps last year, that’s not saying much LOL… but I can feel my fingers numbing because there are some pieces that even after familiarizing myself with them, I can’t play them as well anymore simply because my hands are more clumsy now from lack of practice. It’s depressing but I can’t ask for reward without putting work in LOL.

2011 summary of stuff I remember:

  • Published CP finally! and suddenly the subsequent volumes are following like the wind (in my mind ok)
  • Got out an artbook too? although that’s more like putting art together into a book because I didn’t draw too many new pieces for it
  • I did better at conventions than previous years because I have books to sell now
  • what I’m doing is much more solid and does not involve describing abstract career concepts to parents
  • I am not sure about this but I think I treated people better? I tried to go the extra mile (at least for me it is considered such) to correspond with (or just respond to) my friends and loved ones. It’s really tiring still but it’s coming to me more naturally
  • I somehow suddenly found a style I am completely comfortable with painting omg?? before no matter what I did I would always struggle greatly with the face, but somehow I can finally bid this decade of struggle good bye

I’m actually not going to do a resolution list for next year because there is nothing I am particularly keen on overcoming above all else, and I would probably mostly just aim for a continuation and improvement from this year. Also I just have no idea what would happen to my work style and habits after my aunt’s family moves in ): but here’s to a safe and peaceful world. I hope that while the young and fed-up stand up for their own causes, they actually have an idea of how to deal with the onslaught of chaos should they actually succeed in overthrowing the “system”, whatever they consider it to be. I’m not the most responsible or considerate person out there and I’m not too filled in on a lot of the current worldly issues, but while I believe some of these world powers are fucked up in the way they operate their countries, I feel like the masses trying to spread justice are just as dangerous and insane.

Ending with my playing! My mom went out today so this would probably be the last chance I have to putting together a recording without anyone else in the house for a long, long time. I did this to record flandre’s theme for my waifu sepia but also decided to record something else too because I get asked about my education once in a while. Time really hurts my skill but I’m not out here to impress any experts haha, if I need to do that in the future I can always actually practice for it. and tune my piano…. it hasn’t been tuned for like 3 + years now LOL;;; anyway this is lezghinka by liapunov; I decided to learn this after hearing a classmate play it and it has been my favourite song to play for fun. Everyone living around me is probably so fucking sick of this song lmfao

productive procrastination

[audio:Shilin – 02 wip.mp3]
I was working on this commission but I was having a really hard time on it because I stopped in the middle of it like two weeks ago, and it’s like a mesh of things that I’m not familiar drawing (even though I came up with the idea myself…) So I decided to PROCRASTINATE and finish this song I had lying around for a while. In the end I didn’t finish it, it has no beginning or ending because those are hard AND I’M LAZY LOL. When I wrote this I was going to save it until I learn to play it and record it myself, because computer generated piano solos sound boring, unless they’re meant to sound mechanical and flat. But then I remembered I haven’t played piano for a year and god knows when I’ll do that again due to my parents’ work schedules lol ):

But ya when I started this piece, I had intended it to be an opening type song for CP, so I made sure it had a melody that can be sung to and is in a simple generic pop song form. But I know I can’t write pop lol so I decided to make it into a piano solo that could stand on its own :D

And then today I tried to work on the commission again and after like half an hour I derailed again to draw other stuff ):…
This picture is like 3 separate pictures mashed together LMAO. I just edited the toccata pic into this pic… the stabby part was in a sketch I did like 4 years ago that I never posted because it had tits, and the dance part I always wanted to do but I never did. I was going to do full body because I wanted to include stilettos (as in heels) to go with the daggers, but the figures got too small ): I was looking at tango pics on google and every picture is like… top half dance embrace, bottom half woman riding man’s crotch :D… needless to say I didn’t incorporate that part into this drawing LMAO

no pictures

Just the WIP of a song I wrote~ I was writing a song for my friend last year (2009 lol), but I couldn’t for the life of me find the CDs for the music programs I once had so I never got around to it… I thought all hope was lost, but today Chris helped me find it again. I was going to get a lot of Blackbird toning done today but I wasted most of the day away playing with the program because I was SO OVERJOYED AND FILLED WITH HAPPINESS BY OUR REUNION. Sadly I never got past the noob level with the program so I was soon disappointed by myself because everything sounds like shit. I don’t have a keyboard either so it’s like I’m trying to paint on photoshop with a mouse… I spent most of the time trying to figure out the pedaling and dynamics to make it sound nice LOL BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE BILLIONS OF KNOBS AND OPTIONS ON THE SCREEN DO… But after some hours everything still sounds muddied and there’s no tempo/dynamics variation because I couldn’t figure them out ROFL. Some part of me still wish I could just play and record this song instead of trying to teach a computer how to play it, but I have no vocalist to sing the song, so mr robot clarinet it is



last night’s recital, Waldestein first movement!

click here to listen

Once again I wasn’t as prepared as I liked, because I left it for a while since I was more comfortable with it than other pieces I have to learn. I also played it too fast now that I listen to it, which seems to be a common problem in my playing :I


This is from a class recital we did back in October. As you can see I wasn’t very prepared lolol. I guess I’ll do better next time

click here to listen to the mp3

school sucks but at least the theory prof does lectures this term instead of class discussions and I’m getting a lot more out of it. the rest…. idk

angel incantation getting heal bombed by a friend

server pic which just turned out to be mostly a dc/wf/si/valhalla alliance pic ):