So like, now I want to see if I can get a copy of Blackbird in print when I have enough pages that I am satisfied with. The ones I’ve been looking at is Lulu and CafePress. unfortunately the only size of printed books they offer that fits my pages is 6.625″ x 10.25″, which is kinda whack because it’s huge. The size I drew it on is 5.5×8.5, but I couldn’t find anywhere with that size (a little bigger/smaller is fine with me) available. which sucks ass.

Some people may suggest offering my story/manga to an actual publisher for publishing, but I don’t want to do that because:
1. I have no confidence in my work.
2. I don’t want someone else to own this.
3. I don’t want to make it publicly commercial.

My mom has a friend that makes books (yes she’s THAT cool), and she had been telling my mom that she would make me an artbook if I want. So I guess if I want personal copies of Blackbird, I can ask her for that as well. It’s just that I was gonna make it available for ppl who wants to buy copies of it also. Oh well. *continues looking for online services*

I’ve been watching Mai HiME with my freetime last week, so I didn’t draw anything. Maybe it’s because I watched so little anime, I thought the series was good, even without considering the graphics and music. The story telling was cool, it’s just that the story is a little destiny-oriented, so there everything was “planned” and a little boring. The fighting, especially near the end, was great. I’m a sucker for pretty mechas, like Kagutsuchi. It’s almost Escaflowne-y. It was kinda perverted :( made it seem like it needed that level of pervertism to attract audience even though it didn’t.

So after remembering that I like pretty monsters/mechas, I was kinda sad because I can’t draw either one. At least not mecha, I don’t have the feel of technology in me. So I guess I have to resort to drawing just creatures… and this thing came out… because I made the front paws bigger than the back paws, like gorillas, I was so confused when I flipped the image to see how it looks. I don’t have a name for it though :( Actually, I have, but it’s kind of silly. I like it though; at least it looks like something other than a dragon or a phoenix… or does it?

And school’s ending soon. I can’t believe–well I can, but the first year of university is over already. minus the exams. It’s the best year in my life yet; I loved living out here. I love the independence. So I guess I should be happy about what I achieved this year. Too bad I won’t be missing anyone when I move out because I didn’t make that many friends, very typical of me. O well, one less thing to worry about :)

I haven’t been back home for a whole month; my parents missed me I think, so for all three 4 meals I’ve eaten at home, they made superb Chinese cuisine with seafood, my favourite soups and chicken! It was heavenly. But I guess I only get that if I go back once in a while x) I forgot about the past few weeks of hell in 2 days. I love home.

I bought a print from myself from DA! It is smaller than I thought it is but still huge to me. This is the first print-print of my stuff I’ve ever seen. The quality is so nice and the paper’s photopaper. I was happy for the price except when my friend told me that I could ask her to help me print prints for super cheap in her school BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT.

(a few too many) people have asked me whether or not I will publish Blackbird, and so confidently said that they will buy a copy if I do. All my responses have been no, because the quality at which I have done the entirety of volume one:

1. varies too much in style.
2. are saved in low resolution/quality formats.
3. are done in weird, non-standard page sizes.

So even if I want to, I won’t be able to get it in print.

Not unless I redo most of it.

I did think about it for a bit, because being able to have my own creation in a book form (I really wanted an artbook before, but my art changes too much and I become unsatisfied with them very, very soon after) is just too tempting. After looking back at volume 1 for a little, I thought that I have to redo at least up to page 70 or so if I want to print it off without regretting. Luckily most of volume 1 is done in pencil, so for higher resolution files I just need to rescan (omg all 170 pages!!) and pencil-tone the last 10-20 pages that I digitally toned, just for consistancy. But the redoing part… that’s gonna take a couple of months of dedication, and as much as I want to do this for the cool factor, I personally despise redoing things, especially drawing and writing.

So eventually I thought I could get this done in the summer.

It was really funny how a number of inquiry e-mails/notes could get my hopes up so much. I always have crazy ideas, but I am always afraid to be ambitious, because it comes with a sharp fragrance of egocentrism. (whether or not that’s a word….) But I’ll never succeed if I never try…

so maybe it’s time for me to start making a fool of myself.

nope.