Tumblr is making me forget what I have posted where ahahahaha… I used to prioritize this blog but I guess tumblr is just too convenient I started posting there first before I even realized it.
I finished 2 pages pretty quickly yesterday and today so I decided to waste some time on a drawing. drawing comics too much puts me at a loss as to what to do for colours because I just think in lines. I drew her leaning over some handrails at first, wanted to continue it but didn’t know what I wanted to do… It went from a random sunset to a scene of war to a park after hours of just… sitting here and staring at the picture thinking while doing nothing. the red/orange/magenta was also so awkward and weird to work with because I don’t think I ever draw anything bathed in red light so I spent a lot of time looking for colours too. I remember that one colour test I took of distinguishing colours and I missed like 4 in the magenta area LMAO. Colouring red stuff tires my eyes out really fast too augh BUT I LOVE RED
Onto life, applying to universities sucks so hard and is costing a fortune ): I really hope my cousin gets into at least one of them so that she wouldn’t have to go through this process again and spend even more money on everything… But in between the process something even worse came up within our family circle. I’m not a direct victim but it really made everyone stressed out, worried, feel guilty and just at a loss of what to do because there is nothing we can do about it except to pray for the best. The entire family atmosphere is tiring because everyone has to try to remain optimistic about it, but at the same time we feel bad for not worrying our asses off even though doing so changes nothing. I really wish people don’t put so much emphasis on how we’re supposed to react towards death and disease. Sure if somebody happen to be on their last days it would be nice of their friends to give them the best last days ever, but we can’t just constantly live in fear and guilt ourselves. we can die any minute since we were born, what the hell kind of life would we lead if we spend a lot of it working towards buying ourselves and others more time to live? isn’t that kind of stupid?
In a less depressing note, I did some scraps! I think our wireless got stolen last month because we went way over limit so I couldn’t stream some drawings when I wanted to ): I did manage to get all my carciphona 2 release stuff ready and can finally sell it after 3 months. I originally was trying to get a special pendant made for the occasion but the company I was working with suddenly became very sluggish because they said their systems broke down and had to spend a lot of time recovering. To this day I’m still waiting for the sample piece to arrive so I decided to just leave it for next time. To be honest I’m a little burned out working on the next book, doing stuff for family and just plain waiting for so long that I’m not as excited as I was with the book releases last year, and people can probably tell from the release notices since I’m pretty bad at pretending to give a crap when I don’t have any :1
one day I’ll get to them in the story, maybe… I was looking at this colour scheme generator that somebody linked and suddenly realized that the eyes of these three are pretty much a triad even though I didn’t think about it when I made them like…. 6 years ago? I ended up drawing them afterwards just for the traffic light eyes :v
I have lots of ideas that I want to draw out nowadays but nothing seem to excite me quite as much as before because I always feel like I should be working instead of indulging and taking my sweetass time on a single piece ;; but anyway I felt like drawing some long creepy limbs :1
Otherwise I finished two commissions this week! They were smooth and I actually didn’t struggle too much with them or give up really fast like I did with a number of past commissions. now I’m 6 pages behind my CP schedule haha ;; but at least I finally painted something…………
yeahhh fabric w0000000
Anime North’s artist alley registration date is finally set, and unlike past years it’s AFTER the design contest deadlines. I really don’t want to enter again, especially seeing how it is almost a requirement to draw fandom in order fill up the community spirit quota and to win. But the table application process is just too mercilessly competitive, even with the lottery–or should I say, ESPECIALLY with the lottery, reducing the total table numbers drastically and makes the sell-out time decrease from something dumb like 3 seconds to 1 second. In reality it is one of the most fair and stable application processes around; most cons try to improve every year but end up screwing up the process every single time and making it worse. It’s fair to everyone who wants a shot at AN, but it’s kinda a slap in the face for me (and I’m sure for a lot of other people as well, there are SO MANY AA artists who live in toronto it’s unreal) to have such a convenient, affordable, decent sized and long running con right in my city and I would have to worry about getting denied at the last step. I don’t think I’ve ever failed registering for any other cons for the past 4-5 years, but I’ve never actually successfully registered for AN a single time legitimately (I won the design contest twice and got lucky with the lottery twice)
In terms of other cons this year, I’m considering going to: AX, otakon, otakuthon, fanexpo and NYAF. It would be nice to be able to go to AN, and I might add one or two others if I manage to find some other ones that are close by (:
I feel a lot more comfortable starting a drawing with contours and lines even though theoretically slapping down botches of shapes or gradients should help me see a picture better ): so I did this a few weeks ago when I was at a loss of what to draw. I was going ot wait until I refine it a little before posting it because for some reason my sketches are becoming increasingly illegible over the years, but it seems like I won’t have the time for that for a while LOL… I was going to make the white space into a figure hugging and complementing the horned person, but this will probably turn into one of those it-looked-good-in-my-head ideas XD
I’ve also taken on a 30-day challenge for drawing some RO themed stuff in order to assert my status as an ro tard, but I’m going to do it slow because I don’t have the time LOL… somehow whenever I try to quickly draw up something, it turns into crack and everyone becomes derpy
zzzz hopefully when I finish these commissions I can pull my act together and draw some personal art again
This Friday will see 3 more permanent (?) residents in my home: my aunt and her two children who are a few years younger than me. The aunt will for sure be home 24/7 until she finds a job, which is very unlikely since she doesn’t speak english, and I will have to look for schools for my two cousins and most likely have to help them with any school work they don’t understand, drive them to places, and just in general have my doors open to my family. I’m beginning to stress out now because I need the kind of concentration and freedom from external hindrances I have right now to work; sometimes even just the interaction of my parents and grand parents and the tv would throw me off. It’s almost like I have those artist retreat in the mountains right here in my room lolol, JUST NOT IN A HEALTHY WAY. It will be a great motivation for me to save up to maybe start paying for a place of my own though! I’ll manage but the transition is going to suck :T /spoiled only child
I’ll be posting a bigger version of this on my sites on new year’s (: but you guys can see it first as a reward for looking at my blog! I am very bad at drawing stuff for special occasions, and since I missed christmas I forced myself to at least draw something for new year’s. I wish all of you a safe and peaceful 2012! (or I guess a dangerous and exciting 2012 if you’re an adrenaline junkie)
Writing about this year feel kinda like counting down my life, scratching another year off til the deadline and I’ve got all these things that I am now bent on accomplishing. I kinda like this because unlike having nothing to do, I feel motivated and unlike having a boss, if I miss a deadline I won’t dread to be scolded and wait for my sentencing. I’m so cut off from society but at this very moment it feels like it’s not worth it to fit myself into social norms just because it will make me miserable and slow down my work greatly.
I looked back at last year’s resolution list to see what I did and didn’t do LOL. I never got around to the studies like anatomy and colour and just plunged headfirst into practical work. I think that’s pretty terrible for my growth but yeah, I never really find myself to be the scholastic type. I feel more like the apocalypse-is-tomorrow-so-I-better-finish-this-book-so-it-can-be-incinerated-by-the-sun-along-with-myself type. I also just outright threw any semblance of a balanced lifestyle out the window in exchange for productivity, and it showed I think… I remember thinking that all I churned out this year was manga pages with relatively few drawings, but while upgrading my gallery script, I noticed I painted more than last year, and most of the pictures had taken much much longer to complete than drawings from last year. I played piano more than last year… though considering I played in like almost half year gaps last year, that’s not saying much LOL… but I can feel my fingers numbing because there are some pieces that even after familiarizing myself with them, I can’t play them as well anymore simply because my hands are more clumsy now from lack of practice. It’s depressing but I can’t ask for reward without putting work in LOL.
2011 summary of stuff I remember:
Published CP finally! and suddenly the subsequent volumes are following like the wind (in my mind ok)
Got out an artbook too? although that’s more like putting art together into a book because I didn’t draw too many new pieces for it
I did better at conventions than previous years because I have books to sell now
what I’m doing is much more solid and does not involve describing abstract career concepts to parents
I am not sure about this but I think I treated people better? I tried to go the extra mile (at least for me it is considered such) to correspond with (or just respond to) my friends and loved ones. It’s really tiring still but it’s coming to me more naturally
I somehow suddenly found a style I am completely comfortable with painting omg?? before no matter what I did I would always struggle greatly with the face, but somehow I can finally bid this decade of struggle good bye
I’m actually not going to do a resolution list for next year because there is nothing I am particularly keen on overcoming above all else, and I would probably mostly just aim for a continuation and improvement from this year. Also I just have no idea what would happen to my work style and habits after my aunt’s family moves in ): but here’s to a safe and peaceful world. I hope that while the young and fed-up stand up for their own causes, they actually have an idea of how to deal with the onslaught of chaos should they actually succeed in overthrowing the “system”, whatever they consider it to be. I’m not the most responsible or considerate person out there and I’m not too filled in on a lot of the current worldly issues, but while I believe some of these world powers are fucked up in the way they operate their countries, I feel like the masses trying to spread justice are just as dangerous and insane.
Ending with my playing! My mom went out today so this would probably be the last chance I have to putting together a recording without anyone else in the house for a long, long time. I did this to record flandre’s theme for my waifu sepia but also decided to record something else too because I get asked about my education once in a while. Time really hurts my skill but I’m not out here to impress any experts haha, if I need to do that in the future I can always actually practice for it. and tune my piano…. it hasn’t been tuned for like 3 + years now LOL;;; anyway this is lezghinka by liapunov; I decided to learn this after hearing a classmate play it and it has been my favourite song to play for fun. Everyone living around me is probably so fucking sick of this song lmfao
