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progress

I’m down to 15 more pages to ink!! except I need to rewrite the next scene completely lol…… I CAN’T WAIT TO FINALLY BE DONE WITH THIS. Having a proper pace is so damaging sometimes cus I’m sure I can come up with a much better story flow if I didn’t have to write a part of the story that I have absolutely no inspiration for. I am all for hard work and overcoming obstacles, but this is the one place where I know I will regret it in the future, because this story is so precious to me and I want for every part of it to be natural and effortless, not calculated and contrived ]:

no spoilers means boring snapshots ;;

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Going to cons is pretty bad for my work momentum, which I’ve pretty much completely lost since returning from NYCC and recovering from September. I don’t know if it’s because the pages are tricky to draw (lots of crowd scenes and unfamiliar perspectives) or I just lost my grip of my pencil but so far I’ve been painfully crawling at about a page a day, versus like 3 a day in August LOL… I should reschedule my releases so that page grinding starts after October or when all my cons are over, instead of starting when all my cons happen right now. The only positive thing that’s coming out of this is I get to stop from time to time to look back, and see if I still like where the story is going, before moving on to do permanent damage I guess…

The last few months have been stressful, sometimes physically and sometimes mentally. On top of some family emergencies, there was a convergence of a ton of other events. I’m not used to having to take great care with people, but my situation this year has forced me to, and enough time has passed since my initial crisis for some things to build up and burst while other things require action and change. I handled some of those things poorly and though in the end they could be considered solved for the time being, I can feel what remains of the stress in my need for distraction and lack of focus to create.

It’s fortunate that I don’t need to be writing important parts of my story right now and I could just spend all day churning out planned pages while listening to documentaries and think of nothing. But ever since I’ve finished scripting book 4 in the beginning of this year, I haven’t done any story writing or world building. In the past, I think about–aka daydream–CP whenever I feel like throughout the day, an act of introversion that I enjoy that fulfills my mental needs. The world slowly builds itself and I would have bursts of progress in the form of writing these things down over the year, every few weeks or every few months. I liked that CP grew like that, but I haven’t done anything like that this year because my mind is often with my significant other now. This is probably the best proof that I was pretty much married to my art and my work. It’s not a loss or a bad thing really, it’s just a shift in my life that is a little alarming at first–right now–because I don’t know what this will do to my story yet. Maybe it would become a better story because I have to methodically and efficiently write the story from now on, who knows!

lastly an exit sketch of me carrying the corpses of my blog followers into the horizon
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memento mori

scraps and NYCC

BUT FIRST here are some scraps I drew between the last time I posted and now, I haven’t drawn them much this year at all ):

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This was drawn listening to this snk ost of eren’s mom’s death LOL. WHENEVER THAT SONG PLAYED SOMETHING BEYOND HORRIBLE HAPPENS IN THE ANIME and therefore naturally it catered to my preferences very much ahuheaueuhaeuh

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This was drawn like the day before I left for NYCC. I’m not sure where it came from, but after I drew everything, I decided to look for classical paintings of kings to get some ideas about what to throw in the background, and inadvertently realized that I had drawn the Pieta into something totally inappropriate OOPS

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And a WIP of a gift for kristen :D

SO ANYWAY NYCC

This is undoubtedly my favourite con of the year now because of its location. NYC has a special place in my heart, it’s close by, and it’s a con that is actually not stressful (at least during the con) because it’s well run, it operates on reasonable hours, and so many helpful friends are there as well. I was surprised I wasn’t that tired even though it’s a 4 day con with dinner socializing obligations everyday (unlike AN LOL WHERE I TURN INTO AN ANTISOCIAL HERMIT AFTER CON EVERYDAY) Maybe it was cus my adrenaline was always up whenever I get to do stuff around the city; I was just excited to be back. My friends brought me to amazing food places everyday, took care of me by bringing me lunch and helping me with my ridiculous amount of luggage, and also HOOKED ME UP WITH FREE HOTEL ROOMS THAT THEY HAVE OBTAINED WITH THEIR WITCHCRAFT making my stay dirt cheap WTF. This is a con I will definitely try to go back to every year as long as they accept me in the alley, and hopefully in the future I will be able to bring kristen with me as well ;-;

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The only shot I took at the AA because my table looks eternally the same every con anyway

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The fancy new javits front door that was under construction the last time I went!

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Everyone else bought pokemon over the weekend as part of their loot, but I don’t play ): I did find adam hughes there by accident and bought one of my favourite pieces of his! I will buy a frame for it later, but honestly I am worried about actually hanging it up because for some reason my parents like to show my condo to their friends, and they probably wouldn’t want me to hang this up anyway LOL… I guess I will take it down whenever I have visitors or something idk

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A commission Jay was doing and I wanted to take a pic of it cus it was SO BEAUTIFUL……………. but he trolled last minute and turned this pic into like an anime action frame or something

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This is the view of a hotel in brooklyn we stayed at during one of the nights HAHA. the hotel itself was fine but wow this view

And now please brace for the foods
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In which Finni paid like $80 in 1s HAHAHAH

And some pics from my plane!! I wish I had a better camera to capture these pictures because I just loooove flying ;; so far in my 3 flights to NYC though I’ve always be seated on the wrong side for arrival and never got a chance to look at Manhattan during the fly around. THE WINDS DON’T LIKE ME ]:

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Ending with more pics out of my window
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pages

BUT FIRST A BDAY PRESENT FROM MY GF ONLY SHE WOULD’VE BOUGHT ME THIS
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every 12 year old boy’s dream is within my grasps, I can just hear their cries of hysterical envy yes

ok carrying on, pages

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pages

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pagesssssssss

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I’m soooooooo stressed out right now not even about pages anymore, just from all the SHIT that keeps happening to good people fuck ugh ): I just want to draw pages and forget everything q_q

fight

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promise to give me your all

from listening to the everybody dies theme

I don’t look for music to draw to, but when I do come across a song that gets to me I will have this unstoppable NEED to puke my heart onto a canvas and it feels sooooo good to do :I It’s interesting how there is really only one part of the song that hit me and the rest is kind of not very good, but man is that melody well done and hard hitting it almost feels like a waste to be preceded and followed by the rest of the piece. It’s pretty much true for most songs and drawings and stories; it doesn’t have to be made of gold and diamond all the way through, but you better make sure there is one thing that claws right into your viewers’ kokoro and make them remember

fanexpo and otakuthon

The convention months are finally over, unfortunately I’m just bombarded with more and more complications in life and I’m so stressed out and exhausted everyday q_q I can only say as long as in the end everyone is safe and healthy, I’ll be happy, but it doesn’t make things any easier to handle. I’m glad I kinda gave up making book4 for christmas already because I would’ve stressed out even more trying my best to keep up the schedule, and it will all be in vain since there is no way I’ll make it now. I hope this delay will at least allow me to really make sure the book is as good as I can make it, and a bit better than its current frustrating state.

it took me a while to take care of everything after the cons and also to get my hands on these photos from my cousin BUT ALMOST 1 MONTH LATER HERE ARE SOME PIX AND STORIES.

 

OTAKUTHON

So I decided to drive to montreal cus I have so much shit to bring and there are two of us; I’ve driven there before, but my bad luck is just phenomenal because our 5 hour drive TURNED INTO 9 HOURS CUS WE RAN INTO 2 SERIOUS ACCIDENTS THAT BLOCKED ALL THE LANES OF THE ONLY HIGHWAY THAT WE COULD TAKE AND COULD NOT GET OFF. the second crash was like within our visual range too, and we were there before the cops even arrived so that meant if we hadn’t taken our pee break like half an hour before, we could’ve passed it LOL……………. ):…………..

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We couldn’t pass it and there was no detour or anything because of how close we were so everyone just got off onto the highway to watch. I’m glad it wasn’t us I guess and it was kind of a unique experience, but man being stuck behind that for 2 hours was not cool

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obligatory chinese tourist photo

My table there! nothing new!
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After we set up on Friday we had a ton of time to kill, so we walked around the area cus the last time I’ve walked around montreal was like 8 years ago or something

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yep

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This church was cool but after what I’ve seen in Europe, everything kind of just don’t compare sob

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and we ate chinese food for like3 out of 4 days cus we stayed right next to chinatown HAHA. This hongkong style cafe/restaurant totally caters to my tastes ;-;

Fanexpo was, like every other year, exhausting and long and boring, all at the same time I’m not sure how. I still go every year because I’m not rich enough to turn away free money, and it’s right here in my city, but nothing really happens at this con ): There are some cool people who come back to find me every year and talk to me, but this nice experience is just followed by a huge dropoff into the rest of the uneventful con Q_Q People also solicit a lot at fanexpo; every year I get talked to by people who just goes through the artist alley like mailboxes to give me their business cards and tell me things I don’t really want to hear about. I guess for the majority, this is actually a plus because of the career opportunities presented, but for me they are 99.9% of the time something I have no interest in and gets me very frustrated in an already long and tiring convention.

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Everyone at fanexpo has stands that reach into the stratosphere and it makes me wish I could make mine bigger, but it’s already like impossible for me to set it up myself at this height orz”

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I met kitsurie and yume at otakuthon, where they spent a while looking through my bbxvel pieces wanting to cosplay them. At the time they weren’t cosplaying , so I was like my designs are too annoying complicated and probably would take too much money and effort to cosplay anyway (and usually I say this to everyone who tell me they want to cosplay my chars). I WAS PROVEN WRONG WHEN KITSURIE RETURNED TO MY TABLE AT FANEXPO AS KATARINA AND TOLD ME SHE MADE ALL THE PROPS AND STUFF AND I FELT SO BAD DOUBTING THEIR ABILITIES NOT KNOWING THAT THEY MAKE AMAZING COSPLAYS LOL Q_____Q I’m so excited to see what their cosplays would look like if they do end up going there omg LOOK AT THIS KATARINA

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and I got 2 fanarts from the very kind yutaan and neiva! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DRAWING MY BABY I miss drawing her ;;