Post Tagged with: "bach"




I started a new picture from scratch on livestream in an attempt to make a tutorial as requested for my fb page show of thanks and I like how it’s turning out! I’ve been struggling to find an old sketch to colour now that I finished colouring whatever I was colouring before (god I don’t even remember what it was). There are like 20 scraps I’ve done in the past years that I’ve ALWAYS been dying to finish, but idk maybe it’s cus of the time that’s passed that I’m not so into them anymore, that every time I open up one of those files, I just don’t feel right or feel the drive to start working on them. I’ve been trying to start new pieces because of that reason, but because I so purposely try to steer away from things too similar to what I’ve drawn before, it seems everything I come up with recently feels uninteresting to continue :1 So I went back to drawing the same old shit again–this is even pretty much the same as another sword and dance themed scrap a while ago but I stopped caring. I feel excited to work on it until I can share it, and I think that’s the feeling I love getting from drawing and writing stories: slaving away on something thinking aw man I can’t wait til it’s done and I can show EVERYONE or just stare at it myself like a true narcissist

I really should just stop giving a shit about variety and broadening my horizons and becoming a better artist or whatever, because right now it’s doing me more harm than good; it’s making me not want to draw and not like what I’m drawing. As long as I know I’m not avoiding things because I don’t know how to draw them, I think I’ll stick to drawing the same shit I like to draw all the time ]: there really is no point for me to have an impressive and well planned comprehensive porfolio in my pocket if I don’t feel personally involved in most of it. I’m certain I will just turn back and look at those achievements and ask myself why I wasted my time on doing that. I see motivational and professional quotes and posts all the time about the “trooper professional artist” type, how waiting for inspiration is for amateurs, how thinking outside the box and expanding yourself is good, that you should HONE YOURSELF, prepare and refine yourself, train yourself to be a master. Logically I completely agree, I encourage people to do this, and I admire those who can do this, those whose pursuit is in art itself rather than a narrow topic or theme/interest. But like everything, it can’t just be taken  and applied to every single person because, hey, I don’t want to be a great artist. I just want to have the tools to make what I enjoy possible; the ability to draw allows me to bring into existence what I want to see without paying others to draw it for me, and that’s it. same for music. I will certainly want to improve, but the mindset in that desire to improve is completely different from an artist hard at work towards enlightenment. Still, every time I see those posts I feel like a guilty criminal because it feels like I chose to be ignorant and shallow despite knowing I made a carefully thought out choice. I’ve developed such an indulgent personality because of my drawing/piano playing pursuits, but maybe I should just embrace it and actually let that help make whatever I create more compelling, than to second guess myself every couple of months about my ~artistic direction~

OK SORRY FOR THE INTERNAL BATTLE MADE EXTERNAL I have so much guilt piled up about what I choose to draw and this is probably the 10th time I talked about this idek. pls have a bach chaconne

get stuff done

Not sure if I posted this before, but a preview of some card game commission I did a while ago -u- I wish I could post the pieces because I was surprisingly satisfied with them considering I hate doing commissions. I rarely have any success doing generic looking pieces but I think I really like the results this time. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s a japanese company and therefore they were more rational or something, but they pretty much asked me to draw what I do best aka maleloce and I was just wondering why can’t all commissions be nice like this? you’d think it’s logical that you find an artist and ask them for their specialty based on what you see in their gallery so you get QUALITY PRODUCT, without having to pay for excessive amount of pain and suffering on the artist’s part. Learning and trying out new things should be done by the artist on their free time, right? Not when you’re paying for it and depend on the end result to be amazing, BUT I DIGRESS……

So back in 4th year in piano literature class, we had 4 playlists of the 4 main periods of music, and I’ve been listening to the first list from early baroque to the middle of the classical period I don’t even remember what the cut off was at. I discovered that rhythmic Baroque music is really good for getting stuff done? It has a little drive to it, while the voices and motifs keeps me thinking without baffling my mind like their super expansive late romantic counterparts. I’d really like to relearn some fugues especially these days cus they’re so satisfying to play, but they’re a pain in the ass to learn compared to just technical splendor HAHA. The list of things I’d like to do after I’m done with volume 3 just keeps getting longer and longer Q___Q

Anyway here is part of a toccata by bach that I’ve been listening to for a while to work! the paintings are fucking bizarre I must say

I just finished toning the 50 pages I inked, so only 50 pages more to go! Then a cover and possibly a bonus story, depending on how my page count is looking because I’d cry if volume 3 turns out to be like 1mm too thick for the lettermail height limit LOL;;;;;;;;;;

4 more days

Until my art book will be available for preorder!

´Д` Then I can finally post new art and move on with my life LOL… and then 2 or 3 more weeks and then I can finally DRAW NEW ART why did I bring this on myself LMAO. I don’t mind drawing a ton of pages per week but it really helps improve my mental state to know that I can slack and draw other stuff anytime I feel the need to and I’m just being responsible with my choices, rather than telling myself I’m doing this because if I don’t I won’t finish stuff in time ughh

I realized a while ago when chatting with a friend that I am all business when it comes to reaching milestones (AS I AM WITH EVERYTHING ELSE ACTUALLY…) so I decided to celebrate my art book a little and go out for some ice cream on preorder night HAHA… I can’t believe I wanted to go for like the past 1-2 years and I NEVER WENT, even though it’s like 10 minutes from my place what is wrong with me ): but fear not ice cream crepes, I will come claim you this weekend.

I’m pretty much done with my late romantic period so I’ve been looking for different music to listen to, and looking through billions of songs you’ve heard billions of times is HARD HAHA. But I’m back to baroque stuff now–or in this case late romantic renditions of baroque stuff LOL. I fucking love the fact that they’re so focused on forms (not sure if this one applies tho I don’t deserve to pass music history lmao) I don’t know why this always gets me off so much more than emotional downpours of romantic stuff and totally makes me wanna cry. same for art, too! I just may have some serious obsessions over control and constrain

Anyway have some busoni! This is only the second half but this is what I’ve been listening to haha

Ending with a wall of self reflection which might inflict brain damage so I’ll put that behind the cut (: